Confidence

In today's post, we want to deal with a topic that, in contrast to the last topics, is absolutely tangible and that also has a direct influence on our lives in the short term. Because today we are talking about "self-confidence". Self-confidence, this aura that surrounds us like an invisible coat and that defines our exterior perception to others. In today‘s contribution I’m going to have a different approach compared to the other topics in this blog. I don’t want to give you any of that fluffy, advice we hear all the time. I don’t want to tell you to dress well, stand up straight, smile more, think happy thoughts and fake it til you make it. Being more confident is not as simple as flicking a switch. There’s no quick and easy answer. We’re talking about changing thoughts and beliefs that have been hardwired into our brains over a matter of years. It takes hard work to improve your self-confidence. It’s our thoughts that create confidence, not our results. I know, it really feels like our results create our confidence. We always think things like ‘I’ll have more self-confidence when I have a better body’, ‘I’ll have more self-confidence when I ace that exam’, ‘I’ll have more self-confidence when I have a girlfriend’, ‘I’ll have more self-confidence when I get a job offer’. And sometimes we do feel more confident after those things happen, but that’s not because those events made us more confident. It’s because we gave ourselves permission to feel confident after those events happened. It really is our thoughts that create our confidence because, quite often, achieving those things doesn’t lead to the self-confidence we hoped for and expected. We’ve achieved what we wanted to achieve, but we’re still thinking the same thoughts as before, so we still don’t feel confident. Those achievements just bring up new fears and doubts. And then we set our sights further into the future, pinning our self-confidence on some new result – an even better body, an even better exam result, a more loving partner, an even better job. If we want more self-confidence, we have to work on our thoughts and not on our appearance. It’s our thoughts that determine whether we feel confident. However, at the same time we have to give ourselves time. And we have to be able to forgive ourselves from time to time.